IT Zone jargon watch - Top 10 management-speak crimes

Our UK sister site, AccountingWEB.co.uk, has published a list we know you will find entertaining and all too close to home. Courtesy of UK online office space brokerage, the officebroker.com, the following is a list of the top ten management-speak crimes, some of which you are sure to find familiar.

"Like most companies we often find ourselves indulging in a session of blamestorming if something doesn't go according to plan, but we are such little ideas hamsters that we always get the ball rolling again quickly!" said officebroker.com managing director Jim Venables.

officebroker.com's 10 worst jargon crimes

1. Calling a colleague a '404' (as in the web error message 404: Not Found) for being completely useless.

2. Saying you will "knife and fork" a task - in other words, manage it bit by bit.

3. Claiming at an interview that you are "ready to plug and play" - that you are ready to start the job immediately without any support or training.

4. Offering to "bookmark" someone you meet at a conference, rather than taking note of their contact details.

5. Inviting colleagues or staff to a "thought showering" session - the supposedly PC term for brainstorming.

6. Referring to your PC as the "square headed spouse."

7. Declaring that there is an "elephant in the room" or a "100lb gorilla". What you actually need to do is admit that there is a big problem that everyone is ignoring.

8. Describing yourself as being "behind the curve" to demonstrate your grip on modern technology and life.

9. Talking about "swallowing the frog" when tackling a particularly horrible task.

10. Talk about spending the afternoon "in the field," when everyone knows you are playing hooky.

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