Mother-Daughter Conversations

My relationship with my mother is changing. Unfortunately, our communication habits are not. I picked up You’re Wearing That? by Deborah Tannen, in hopes of improving our conversations. It didn’t work out quite the way I planned.

First of all, this is not a book I could read easily or for extended periods of time. It wasn’t that the material was difficult or boring. In fact, the material hit too close to home and there were times when I would read something and just have to put the book down.

Call it denial. This book drags some of the most personal and private emotions I have about communicating with my family in general, and my mother in particular, into the spotlight. And I am not ready to deal with them at the rapid fire pace of the book.

My start and stop progress does not seem to have prevented some of the ideas presented in the book from taking root. I find myself trying to respond to what my mother says, not what she has said in the past in similar situations. I also find myself putting more thought into what I say, so that I understand what my mother is responding to, both the words and the metamessages.

One of the biggest problems I have had is in trying to get my mother to read it. Perhaps, because our relationship is a basically a good and strong one, she doesn’t think we need to improve how we communicate. Our changing roles, however, seem to dictate that our communication styles change as well. In fighting that, it seems likely we will end up fighting each other, which is an ironic outcome for a book that is supposed to improve communications.

This book is not a book that can be read or used in a vacuum. It needs to be shared. The challenge is in discovering how to share it with the person it was intended for, a mother or daughter.

You may like these other stories...

As the volume of account reconciliations continues to surge, most corporate accounting and finance departments in the United States and Canada are still using a labor-intensive process to make sure their accounts’...
The average starting salary for students graduating this year with a business major – including accounting – has declined slightly over the last year, according to the latest salary survey from the National...
No matter how much we may want to put them on hold, we all have projects at work we need to start, right? Well, according to a recent survey of human resources (HR) managers by Accountemps, the most productive day of the...

Already a member? log in here.

Upcoming CPE Webinars

Aug 26
This webcast will include discussions of recently issued, commonly-applicable Accounting Standards Updates for non-public, non-governmental entities.
Aug 28
Excel spreadsheets are often akin to the American Wild West, where users can input anything they want into any worksheet cell. Excel's Data Validation feature allows you to restrict user inputs to selected choices, but there are many nuances to the feature that often trip users up.
Sep 9
In this session we'll discuss the types of technologies and their uses in a small accounting firm office.
Sep 11
This webcast will include discussions of commonly-applicable Clarified Auditing Standards for audits of non-public, non-governmental entities.