Accountants give their clients Chinese fortune cookies

Tax time is here. So is Chinese New Year! Is it fate? You decide! The Year of the Tiger begins on February 14. Steven West, a writer from Farmington Hills, MI, offers these ten witty fortune cookie sayings from the mouths of accountants:

1. Don't be upset, but you are in deep debt.

2. Your favorite uncle is planning to visit you this year. (Yep, it's your Uncle Sam.)

3. Taking a deduction for the care and maintenance of your fish tank is not likely to succeed.

4. Things could be worse, you still own your house. (Oops, sorry, I was wrong about that.)

5. You may want to delay taking a vacation after you see what you owe the government.

6. You're getting a lot of money back this year after filing your returns. Just kidding.

7. Hope you are steady because your records sure are out of balance.

8. Fraud is a five letter word. Prison is a six letter word. See, you still know how to count.

9. Your wife left you. You're out of work. But you still have your dignity. Unfortunately, you cannot declare your dignity as a deduction.

10. You've been cooking the books for years. After the IRS is done with you, you'll be basted and roasted just right.
 

Perhaps you would like to add to the list. Enter your fortune in the box and we'll add it to the collection.


You may like these other stories...

IRS must take oath on Lerner emails: judgeMackenzie Weinger of Politico reported on Thursday that a federal judge ordered the IRS to explain under oath how it lost emails connected to Lois Lerner, the ex-IRS official at the...
Credit Suisse says pension assets at risk unless court delays sentencingJohn Letzing of the Wall Street Journal reported on Wednesday that Credit Suisse Group AG says its management of billions of dollars in assets for...
The prospect of International Financial Reporting Standards (IFRS) being fully adopted in the United States in the near future are growing less likely, as the Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB) and the International...

Upcoming CPE Webinars

Jul 16
Hand off work to others with finesse and success. Kristen Rampe, CPA will share how to ensure delegated work is properly handled from start to finish in this content-rich one hour webinar.
Jul 17
This webcast will cover the preparation of the statement of cash flows and focus on accounting and disclosure policies for other important issues described below.
Jul 23
We can’t deny a great divide exists between the expectations and workplace needs of Baby Boomers and Millennials. To create thriving organizational performance, we need to shift the way in which we groom future leaders.
Jul 24
In this presentation Excel expert David Ringstrom, CPA revisits the Excel feature you should be using, but probably aren't. The Table feature offers the ability to both boost the integrity of your spreadsheets, but reduce maintenance as well.