Sitcom Tax: George and Gracie whip taxes

Now that tax season is nearing its end, you probably feel like you've heard every possible explanation, every trumped up excuse, and every illogical conclusion there is, when it comes to taxes. But how would you like to be the guy who was assigned to do the taxes for George Burns and Gracie Allen? Gracie is not known for her clear thinking. But in her own way, she makes sense. In the "Tax Man" episode of the 1950s sitcom, the show opens as their accountant knocks on their door.

"Mrs. Burns, I'm Mr. Hanley. I'm going to take care of your taxes this year," to which Gracie answers seriously,

"Oh good, we're tired of paying it ourselves."

If only it were that easy.

After a conversation in which she learns that income taxes pay the salaries of the president and Congress, Gracie instructs Mr. Hanley to include Harry Truman and her Congresspeople on their tax return for the year.

Good idea!

While sorting through the couple's records, the tax guy finds some odd receipts, like the $50 medical expense for a full length mirror...

"I bought it so my dad wouldn't catch pneumonia. Without a full length mirror, he forgets to put on his pants."

Or the $75 phonograph...

George explained this one. "Gracie puts the fish bowl on the phonograph and turns it on, so the fish get their exercise."

Hmmm.

"Will our taxes be higher this year?" Gracie asks Mr. Hanley.

"Oh yes, everybody's will be higher."

No problem. Gracie already had a plan for dealing with higher costs, which she proceeded to show the poor tax man. Instead of buying whipped cream she could save 50 cents by making her own from lemon juice and a can of evaporated milk (the show's sponsor). So, when you need money, just make another pint of whipped cream and cha-ching! Fifty cents in the bank! The scene ends as she shows him her "savings account" -- a refrigerator full of whipped cream.

Finally the beleaguered accountant is finished. He staggers out of the den to find George and presents him with the bottom line.

"Just send the IRS a check for this amount," he says, as he pulls his coat on backwards and stumbles out.

Now it's George's turn to be puzzled. Using Gracie's own logic, Mr. Hanley has concluded that they owe the IRS a grand total of...

"Three refrigerators full of whipped cream."

That's pretty far-fetched. But like most accountants and tax preparers, I've heard worse.

By Teresa Ambord

Other stories in this series:

Sitcom Tax: Everything I need to know about income tax I learned watching TV

Sitcom Tax: Jack Benny vs. the IRS

A round-up of tax information courtesy of Hollywood

Sitcom Tax: On April 15th Dagwood gives the mailman a bum’s rush

Sitcom Tax: Audit or odd-ity, Sitcom characters get investigated by the IRS