Is it still gauche for CPAs to cry?

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John Boehner crying over youIt’s a question that may need to be addressed, since the Majority Whip, John Boehner, weeped on television recently, and it was regarded by some to be an effective way to move voters.  Maybe if CPAs start bawling, we can move some of our clients to pay us.

Many feel that crying is not an effective social tool to influence others behavior.  I cry all the time to my wife, but she simply ignores me.  Although some were sincerely moved by Boehners’ tears, others scoffed, seeing it as a sign of weakness.  I wondered if he was crying because of guilt over all of his policies and votes?  Who knows.

Personally, I have found it to be very effective in public accounting to sniffle, if not bawl.  Watery eyed, runny-nose wailing shows you are repentant for your latest screw up to your boss.  Furthermore, no partner wants to be sued for causing emotional trauma or psychological damage to an employee, even if you really screwed up on a tax client, losing him or her as a client for the firm for evermore.  Heck, it always worked for me!

It is my opinion that there’s a double standard about crying.  I suspect that female CPAs should never cry.  They might be regarded as weak, a no-no in feministic circles.  Male CPAs, on the other hand, perhaps should do a lot more crying.  They are likely to be seen as less mean and more sensitive, like an Alan Alda, whom women seem to love.  So female clients might really get off on you bawling.  And if an attractive female client takes you in her arms and cradles you to her bosom in an attempt to console you, feel free to heave away and enjoy the moment.

I personally have found it to be an effective ruse in a bar room brawl, especially when I was on the losing end of the fisticuffs, which, unfortunately, was always the case.  I must confess, however, that at times those tears were real, after having my nose broken three times from such fracases.

But, what the heck, I’m a free spirit.  Go ahead and sniffle.  Then risk a wimper.  After which, try sobbing, gradually working up to a good cry and a bawl.  And if your clients are still unmoved, you might want to even indulge in a panic attack.  But play it safe and bring a paper bag, just in case.

Everyone loves entertainment.  And CPAs too often do not register a pulse.  So some of your clients might welcome a little drama from you, while others might appreciate a little humor at your expense.  And if it brings in business, cry and laugh all the way to the bank.  No need to worry if your tear ducts have become plugged:  I’ll even hire out as a professional weeper for your firm, if you pay well enough.  All I need to do is watch Bette Davis in “Dark Victory” and the faucets turn on for at least an hour or so.

William Brighenti, Certified Public Accountant, Certified QuickBooks ProAdvisor

Accountants CPA Hartford, LLC

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