Ann "Curvy" Curry should have eaten her wheaties before delivering a commencement address at Wheaton College

Ann "Curvy" Curry may have been "wearing a very fabulous blue and white outfit" underneath her robe, as she mentioned in her commencement address at Wheaton College the other day, but one can only wonder what was underneath her graduation cap.

As you all must know by now, in her commencement address to more than 400 graduates of Wheaton College in Norton, Massachusetts, in a feeble attempt to connect with the graduating students, she mentioned famous alumni of Wheaton College, including Billy Graham, Wes Craven, Todd Beamer, and Dennis Hastert.  Oh, Oh, Ann.  Oops, major faux pas!  "Holy Crap!", as Frank Barrone would say.  None of these gentlemen graduated nor even attended that College.  They attended the private Evangelical Protestant, coeducational, liberal arts college in Wheaton, Illinois, also named Wheaton College.  Would someone please show Annie how to google!  Has she been hanging out with Sarah Palin?  (I wrote this article before Sarah Palin spoke at a fundraiser at California State University in Stanislaus on June 26, 2010, where she stated that former President Ronald Reagan attended California's Eureka College; however, there is no Eureka College in California.  Reagan was from Illinois and attended college in Illinois.  Am I prophetic or what?!)

What should have been so obvious about her gaffe, making it even more embarrassing, was that when Graham and Hastert were students, Wheaton College was strictly a female college.  Oh boy!  She not only confused the two colleges, but apparently she may not even have known that Wheaton College had been a leading college for women and only became co-educational in 1988.  Is it conceivable that the female recipient of an honorary doctorate from Wheaton, a leading woman in journalism, was oblivious to these facts before making a commencement address to this very prestigious College, formerly regarded as one of the top liberal arts colleges for women?!  Maybe Annie should have paid more attention to the content of her speech and less to that fabulous blue and white outfit underneath her robe.  Did I mention that her eyeliner and makeup were flawless at the commencement?

What makes this incident funnier is that Annie gave an almost identical commencement speech a week before in Providence, Rhode Island, where she was awarded yet another honorary degree for her success in journalism, using the same mommie-dearest jokes, etc.; here, however, she did have enough smarts not to confuse this college with Wheaton, appropriately substituting the name "Providence" for "Wheaton" in perfect mail merge synchronicity, and instead of wearing a "fabulous" blue and white outfit underneath her robe, she wore a "fabulous" black and white dress underneath her gown in stylish color coordination to the school's colors.  Always the "fabulous" woman of Vogue, aren't you Annie?!  Did I mention that her eyeliner and makeup were flawless at this commencement as well?

Equally as amusing as Annie's gaffe was the fact that all of the graduates appeared oblivious to her faux pas: there was not an "ah" or "oops" or "snicker" or a "guffaw" audible after her litany of the Illinois college alumni.  One can only wonder if they had all sobered up for commencement?!  So much for the $200,000 price tag for a college education at Wheaton.

Finally, crescendoing this entire commencement address into a hilarious farce was Wheaton College's subsequent attempt of a Curry-Gate cover up, editing the video and text of Annie's commencement address by removing the gaffe and scrubbing it off the internet (it can be found, by the way, at http://www1.whdh.com/video/player/?clipId=4809762).  Now let me ask you, is that intellectual honesty?  Is that journalism at its best, reporting what truthfully occurred, after awarding this television icon in journalism an honorary doctorate for her achievements in journalism?  LOL!  The irony is precious.  I couldn't make this stuff up!  I would have awarded her an honorary doctorate in flawless eyeliner and makeup techniques, for sure.

NBC hired an attractive, very leggy news woman, currently paying her a reported $3,000,000 per year salary.  I'm fat and balding, and AccountingWEB doesn't pay me a shekel.  Maybe if I had her legs...?

I did enjoy her speech, though.  There were memorable phrases as, "The key is to be ready"....yeah, Ann, as you were the other day! 

And let us not forget the unforgettable boast, bursting with bravado:  "And to everyone who says to you along the way that you cannot do something..., the thing you should have in your mind is, 'Oh, yeah? Watch me.'"  We watched you, Ann.  And you sure did it!

I also relish these lines:  "More than luck, talent, or even brainpower, determination is the trait...And the best part is that unlike talent and luck and brainpower, determination is what you can choose to have."  But doesn't brainpower help, Ann.  It certainly may have helped you the other day.  You quoted your mother as saying, "college is stupid".  No, Annie, college is not stupid; people are stupid.  Hello?

And last but not least, here are lines to take to the grave:  "To you I say, it is only with adversity that we even have a chance at greatness. Adversity is your opportunity."  Did you mean "controversy" here instead of "adversity", Annie?  They do sound similar, and they rhyme!  Hmmm.  Perhaps Wheaton edited this line, too. 

And if, as you claim, Annie, "adversity is your opportunity", you certainly have plenty of opportunities ahead.  Perhaps you could return to being a cocktail waitress?  Or marry a rich guy, as your mother advised you.  You do have great legs, Ann.  As if we haven't noticed by now, Annie.

If you really want to turn all of this adversity about Wheaton into an opportunity, here's a suggestion (better do it before Tina Fey beats you to it!):  call up your sister show, SNL - Saturday Night Live, appear on the show as Ann Curvy Curry, wear a micro mini, or--better yet--a "fabulous" blue and white outfit purchased at Victoria's Secret, apply the "racoonish" eyeliner your mommie accused you of wearing, and give the commencement speech all over again, but this time include, among its famous alumni, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Rin Tin Tin, Bugs Bunny, and Pepe le Pew....Please don't be mortified....I screw up everyday, Annie.  But I just laugh it off.  It's all about recognizing that we are only human, not gods and goddesses, Annie.

This article is provided for informational purposes and is not intended to be construed as legal, accounting, or other professional advice.  For further information, please consult appropriate professional advice from your attorney and certified public accountant. 

Have a tax or an accounting question?  Please feel free to submit it under "Comments" at Accounting, QuickBooks, and Taxes by the Barefoot Accountant.  For information and assistance on any tax and accounting issue, please visit our website:  Accountants CPA Hartford, LLC.

If and only to the extent that this publication contains contributions from tax professionals who are subject to the rules of professional conduct set forth in Circular 230, as promulgated by the United States Department of the Treasury, the publisher, on behalf of those contributors, hereby states that any U.S. federal tax advice that is contained in such contributions was not intended or written to be used by any taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed on the taxpayer by the Internal Revenue Service, and it cannot be used by any taxpayer for such purpose. The above tax advice was written to support the promotion or marketing of the accounting practice of the publisher and any transaction described herein. The taxpayer recipients of this offering memorandum should seek tax advice based on their particular circumstances from an independent tax advisor .

 

This blog

The Barefoot Accountant—is a Certified Public Accountant, Certified QuickBooks ProAdvisor,  operating an accounting, tax, and QuickBooks consulting firm in Berlin, Connecticut, Accountants CPA Hartford, Connecticut, LLC.  Bill has instructed graduate and undergraduate courses in Accounting, Auditing, and other subjects at the University of Hartford, Central Connecticut State University, Hartford State Technical College, and Purdue University. He also taught GMAT and CPA Exam Review Classes at the Stanley H. Kaplan Educational Center and at Person-Wolinsky, and is certified to teach trade-related subjects at Connecticut Vocational Technical Schools. His articles on tax and accounting have been published in several professional journals as well as on several accounting websites. William was born and raised in New Britain, Connecticut, and served on the City's Board of Finance and Taxation as well as its City Plan Commission.  Bill is a crazed animal lover, feeding birds, squirrels, chipmunks, skunks, possums, stray cats, and any two-legged or four-legged critter traversing through his yard.  His backyard in Berlin, Connecticut has been certified as a habitat suitable for wildlife by the National Wildlife Federation.

Bill also writes an Accounting, QuickBooks, and Tax blog:  Accounting, QuickBooks, and Taxes by the Barefoot Accountant.  For entertaining articles, please see his listing at The Amazing Brighenti.

More from this blog

Bloggers crew

Steve Knowles has spent 25 years in business and practice in the UK, but he also worked in the states and the years haven't dulled his way of seeing an alternative view to everyone else, and every day is a new adventure.

42346

Joel M. Ungar, CPA is a lifelong resident of the Detroit area and a graduate of The University of Michigan. He is a principal with Silberstein Ungar, PLLC, a Top 15 auditor of SEC public reporting companies.

74531

Allan Boress, CPA, with over 25 years as a practitioner and consultant to the accounting profession. Mr. Boress is the author of 12 published books in 6 different languages, including a best-seller, The "I-Hate-Selling" Book.

47327

Larry Perry, CPA, CPA Firm Support Services, LLC, is the author of accounting and auditing manuals, author and presenter of live staff training seminars, and author of webcast and self-study CPE programs. He blogs about small audits, reviews, and compilations.

86913
Sandra Wiley, COO and Shareholder, is ranked by Accounting Today as one of the 100 Most Influential People in Accounting as a result of her prominent role as an industry expert on HR and training as well as influence as a management and planning consultant. She is also a founding member of The CPA Consultant's Alliance. Sandra is a certified Kolbe™ trainer who advises firms on building balanced teams, managing employee conflict and hiring staff.
19861

Maria Calabrese, CIR, Human Resources manager for Fazio, Mannuzza, Roche, Tankel, LaPilusa, LLC in Cranford, New Jersey, Maria's topics revolve around the world of: Mentoring, Performance management, and The "Y Generation," a.k.a. "The whY generation".

54435

William Brighenti is a CPA, Certified QuickBooks ProAdvisor, and Certified [Business] Valuation Analyst, operating an accounting, tax, and QuickBooks consulting firm in Hartford, Connecticut, Accountants CPA Hartford.

79068

Ken Garen, CPA, is the co-founder and President of Universal Business Computing Company (www.ubcc.com), a software development firm of high-volume, high-productivity accounting and payroll technology.

24493

Eva Rosenberg, MBA, EA, is the publisher of TaxMama.com, and author of the weekly syndicated Ask TaxMama column. She provides answers to tax questions from taxpayers and tax professionals worldwide.

62817

Amy Vetter, CPA, CITP is the CPA Programs Leader for Intacct Corporation responsible for leading the CPA/BPO Partners nationally.

33866
Brian Strahle is the owner of LEVERAGE SALT, LLC where he provides state and local tax technical services to accounting firms, law firms and tax research organizations across the United States. He also writes a weekly column in Tax Analysts State tax Notes entitled, "The SALT Effect." For more info, visit his website: www.leveragestateandlocaltax.com
100767
Scott H. Cytron, ABC, is president of Cytron and Company, known for helping companies and organizations improve their bottom line through a hybrid of strategic public relations, communications, marketing programs and top-notch client service. An accredited consultant, Scott works with companies, organizations and individuals in professional services (accounting, finance, medical, legal, engineering), high-tech and B2B/B2C product/service sales.
25110

Rita Keller is a nationally known CPA firm management consultant, speaker, author, mentor and blogger. She has over 30 years hands-on experience in CPA firm management, marketing, technology and administrative operations.

51281
Stacy Kildal is the mom of two fantastic kids, an Advanced Certified QuickBooks ProAdvisor, Certified Enterprise Solutions ProAdvisor, Sleeter Group Certified Consultant, a nationally recognized member of the Intuit Trainer and Writer Network, and co-host of RadioFree QuickBooks.
26931
Michael Alter's blog specializes in providing practical advice to those who seek greater profitability and practice management tactics that enhance deeper client relationships.
31241

Sally Glick, CMO, Principal, Marketer of the Year in 2003 and AAM Hall of Famer in 2007, leads a lively discussion of the constantly expanding roles of marketing and the professional marketers that drive this initiative in accounting firms of all sizes.

98115

The IMA Young Professionals Blog features the insights of IMA’s Young Professionals Committee. Committee members share advice and experiences on careers, continuing education, work/life balance, and other issues affecting young accounting and finance professionals.

32432

FEI Financial Reporting Blog provides highlights from SEC, PCAOB, FASB, IASB, and other regulatory news, including reporting under Sarbanes-Oxley Sect 404. It is written by Edith Orenstein, Director of Technical Policy Analysis at FEI.

109009

Sue Anderson has 30 years of experience in continuing education for accountants. Currently she is the program director for online CPE provider CPE Link.

59506

Jim Fahey is COO of Apple Growth Partners, a regional CPA firm in Ohio. His focus is on the effective and efficient use of technology within the firm by all team members.

38506
Caleb Newquist is the Editor-in-Chief of Sift Media US, overseeing content for both AccountingWEB and Going Concern.
65405

Leita Hart-Fanta, CPA, CGFM, and CGAP is the author of "The Yellow Book Interpreted" and owner of Yellowbook-CPE.com a website devoted to training for governmental auditors.

91204

AccountingWEB is more than just a U.S. team of journalists and financial and technology experts - we have an international side, too! Members of our British team who publish AccountingWEB.co.uk share their ideas, insights, and perspectives from across the pond.

52294